Another Sign..

If nothing happens.. It will be the END.

 I never felt this way before and I swear this feelings are true. :(

I asked and pray again. hayy. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed. All things are messed up for me. I told God, Please gave me a sign. All of them were rebuking us. Telling that our decision to be in a relationship is really wrong. Oh why. I somewhat understand it. Yes they are right. It is really early but for me I still won't give up him. Why? Because I know we're different from the others but that "fact" hurts me a bit. Because I feel that I'm no longer his girlfriend nor close friend. Well I don't know if I'm wrong for what I'm feeling but many people already told me "War ba kayo?" "Kayo pa ba?" coz' every time they sees us, It's like we don't know each other and don't care. Well I feel the same way. That's why I'm so depressed these days. In my info. you can see one of the facts about me is "I hate getting ignored by others". I don't know if this is just an over reaction but I think its not. I also asked some advises from kuya jerome. I told him what's happening to us and what are the actions we are doing so he can give me some tip. Then he said : It shouldn't be like that. Yes, They have a point but being affected and giving up if you really love someone is not a choice unless the other wants to. He also said that It's like a challenge for the both of us on how we are going to overpass it. "Acting like he doesn't see or know you is not good." It is really hard for you. Then kuya jerome advised me. he said " Wag mo muna siyang pansinin. Wag mo din siyang tignan. pero baka naman 1 day mo lang to gawin ha? gawin mo to hanggang sa pansinin ka niya at iapproach ka niya kung bakit ka ganon at wag mong hahayaang ulitin niya pa to ulit sayo." Then I reacted " Oh no! I already did that last time. hmm and it's really hard for me.

Then I asked him "What if he still don't approach me and also ignored me?" He said "odi alam mo na ang gagawin". I know what it means. It means to end it. :( He also asked me, " Sa tingin mo siya na talaga?" Then I really had a hard time thinking. Oh my. Dati naman nasasagot ko agad yan na OO siya na talaga kasi nararamdaman kong nandyan parin siya para sakin at mahal niya ko pero ngayon.. Hindi ko na maramdamang mahal niya ko. OO kagabi lang nakachat ko siya at concern siya kung kumain na ba ko at bago siya mag out nag Iloveyou pa siya pero para sakin hindi sapat yun kasi sa facebook lang yun e.pagdating sa skul ganon padin. Parang di magkakilala. :(( I don't know if it's because of the church and the others but haayyy.
Another problem that's messing up my mind is my religion. Oh no. :( It's not that I'm turning back but I just think that I can still worship God without going to kuya tim's house. I can still be attached to God even if I'm a Catholic. I'm not telling that my faith to God was lessen. It's just that waaah. I'm so confused. :( I already said this to soul mom. I think I'm just over thinking things because I really have a problem. wooh.

Before I forgot. The sign. I'm afraid coz' the sign I asked was hard I think because that's his weakness. Wala mangyayari kung papairalin ang pride. Well i told God and myself that if nothing happens until my birthday.. I will be the one to end it.Though its hard but I am really hurt. Making me feel that in almost a month. Maybe aubrey was right..Sometimes love just ain't enough. :( I really don't want to let him go. 

Drama.